Voice actor
Classical radio DJ
Truck driver
Music transcriptionist
Medical transcriptionist
Humor columnist
Teacher of music appreciation (both high school and community-college levels)
Copywriter
Car salesperson
Traveling sales rep for gourmet chocolate company
Piano salesperson
Bank teller
Songwriter/lyricist
Mail carrier
Marketing manager (a bit ambitious, as I have no Marketing experience whatsoever)
TV comedy writer
Writer for "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader"
Dog walker
Duck-boat driver
Museum tour guide
Freedom Trail tour guide
Ghosts and Gravestones tour guide
Art salesperson, at a gallery in a mall
Insurance company call-center customer service representative
Sports-team mascot (have recently learned those suits are air-conditioned!)
Just about anything at Despair, Inc. (creators of Demotivators series)
Greeting card writer
Famous person
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I'm a Bad One, I Is
I took another step down the Road to Perdition this afternoon as I violated the sanctity of Cookie Day. Each month, cookies are laid out at the office in recognition of everyone who had a birthday. We're given explicit instructions to take only one. Which I did.
At first.
Then I waited an hour, and went back for a SECOND COOKIE. Didn't even wait till I got back to my cube to tear into it. Yeah, that's right, I did it!
And my birthday isn't even IN July.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!
At first.
Then I waited an hour, and went back for a SECOND COOKIE. Didn't even wait till I got back to my cube to tear into it. Yeah, that's right, I did it!
And my birthday isn't even IN July.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!
And if They Crash, They Buy It
The attitude of cab drivers in Egypt, as quoted by a well-travelled Lebanese girl I met:
"To us, the traffic lights are like apples. If it is green, we eat it. If it is yellow, we eat it. If it is red, we eat it."
"To us, the traffic lights are like apples. If it is green, we eat it. If it is yellow, we eat it. If it is red, we eat it."
300th Post
It's 2:30 am. Who's wide awake? I am. What's keeping me awake? The improv performance tonight, and everything I could have done or could have said. The way that I have trouble differentiating between when I'm improvising and when I'm having a conversation, and am not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing or just a normal thing. The fact that I have to get up and go to work tomorrow in an office where they expect you to be conscious, the knowledge of which doesn't make sleeping at night or being awake during the day any easier.
Dang. Dang da-dang dang dang. Dang diddy dang da-dang da-dang diddy diddy.
Someday, when they're writing my many scandalous, unauthorized biographies, they'll romanticize nights like this. My genius, my agony and my ecstasy, my endless (and imaginary) succession of torrid and tragic love affairs. But the reality is that I have Cheez Balls stuck to my teeth, and if I ever do fall asleep there will be a lot of orange drool involved.
Dang. Dang da-dang dang dang. Dang diddy dang da-dang da-dang diddy diddy.
Someday, when they're writing my many scandalous, unauthorized biographies, they'll romanticize nights like this. My genius, my agony and my ecstasy, my endless (and imaginary) succession of torrid and tragic love affairs. But the reality is that I have Cheez Balls stuck to my teeth, and if I ever do fall asleep there will be a lot of orange drool involved.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Incommunicado
I head out of town on Friday for a long weekend with the Fam. We'll be chillin' by a lake. As work is already pretty relaxing at the moment, I don't know if I'll feel a huge need to lounge around, although I'm pretty good at it. So we'll see if I can find fun ways to keep myself entertained. Maybe I'll sing through some Sesame Street CDs with my nephew. Not because he likes the songs, but because I do.
Have really been scrounging for reasons to stay awake at work. Took one project off a coworker's hands today to appease my conscience. Otherwise, not much else going on here.
Have my second improv show tonight. Scared again. Dealing with it. Have a couple friends coming this time. Laugh loudly, guys!
I'll probably be offline for the long weekend. I know my posts are rather infrequent anyway, but for 4 days I'll actually have a decent excuse for that.
Have really been scrounging for reasons to stay awake at work. Took one project off a coworker's hands today to appease my conscience. Otherwise, not much else going on here.
Have my second improv show tonight. Scared again. Dealing with it. Have a couple friends coming this time. Laugh loudly, guys!
I'll probably be offline for the long weekend. I know my posts are rather infrequent anyway, but for 4 days I'll actually have a decent excuse for that.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Slooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww
I took a sick day yesterday to get stuff done around the house. Yet there's so little for me to do at work that when I returned today, I had almost nothing to catch up on. So I become further acquainted with "The Show" by Ze Frank. (He finished it over two years ago, but it's worth checking out if you never have: http://www.zefrank.com/.) They basically paid me to write in my journal. A slow day.
In other news, much like the singing recital, my first improv show went well as far as I know. The big deal is that I got through it and can move forward. The most redeeming compliment of the night for me came at the pub after the show, when an actor from another team said that after he saw my audition, he assumed I would make a team. Yay!
Sometimes I'm glad to be hanging out with theater types. You know at the end of Saturday Night Live, when they're all hugging each other? I sometimes wonder how necessary that is, since they see each other every day. But putting yourself out there creatively, and especially in front of a live audience, is hard. So I can understand needing support, encouragement, and reassurance.
At rehearsal on Monday, my Level 5 instructor gave me some final advice: Think less, explain less, and expand my character range beyond the low-status and clueless types.
So basically, stop playing myself.
Maybe I can practice that during my many empty work hours.
In other news, much like the singing recital, my first improv show went well as far as I know. The big deal is that I got through it and can move forward. The most redeeming compliment of the night for me came at the pub after the show, when an actor from another team said that after he saw my audition, he assumed I would make a team. Yay!
Sometimes I'm glad to be hanging out with theater types. You know at the end of Saturday Night Live, when they're all hugging each other? I sometimes wonder how necessary that is, since they see each other every day. But putting yourself out there creatively, and especially in front of a live audience, is hard. So I can understand needing support, encouragement, and reassurance.
At rehearsal on Monday, my Level 5 instructor gave me some final advice: Think less, explain less, and expand my character range beyond the low-status and clueless types.
So basically, stop playing myself.
Maybe I can practice that during my many empty work hours.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
A "Sea Change," if You Will
... because I'll be using a water metaphor ;-).
For years, sadness was my Normal. I might bob upwards briefly, but I always sank back down. But lately? I find myself floating up, and only being briefly brought down by troubles. My Normal has changed, or at least it's looking that way.
How effing cool is that???
For years, sadness was my Normal. I might bob upwards briefly, but I always sank back down. But lately? I find myself floating up, and only being briefly brought down by troubles. My Normal has changed, or at least it's looking that way.
How effing cool is that???
Monday, July 20, 2009
Stuff
Not a ton to update you all on. I gave my first non-karaoke singing performance in a recital on Sunday, and it went well, as far as I know. I don't have any recording of it, and it went by so fast. And one of the big reasons I'm taking voice lessons is because I'm not always great at being able to tell whether I'm singing properly, so I'm not the best judge of my own performance. People did seem to like it. I made it theatrical and entertaining.
One odd thing: The accompanist was sight-reading that day. While it's not a complicated piece, she wasn't able to to make the fun changes I'd hoped to make. She also had trouble following me on tempo changes. And I hadn't expected that she'd play my melody line with her right hand. All of this I discovered in our run-through 15 min. before the recital. So I set myself a different musical challenge. I wasn't able to relenquish all my interpretive freedom, but for the most part I synched myself up with the tempo and rhythm she played; otherwise we just would have sounded bad. I exercised my ensemble muscle instead of my solo muscle. That's OK. In that way, I felt like my old musical experience came to bear.
I had my first rehearsal for the improv-student performing teams on Saturday. The goals are different from those we aim for in class. In class, we go for characters, relationships, and solid scene structure, and rely on humor growing from that. In the performing teams, because we have so little time, we go more for the jokes. So it's a change in mindset, but that's OK. It's all about learning. I'm not thrilled with how I did in rehearsal, but that's also OK, ultimately. It would be weird if I never had a bad class or a bad show. It would be like those couples that never argue-- an indication that there are no risks being taken, and who you really are as a person is being hidden. So, there's a triumph for me: I risked enough to screw up :-).
The other team members are really nice. First performance is tomorrow. Eek! Each rehearsal, each performance -- they all scare me a little. But I hope that pushing through each time results in progress, and isn't just me pushing the same stone up the hill each time.
Yeah, it's gotta have a cumulative effect.
One odd thing: The accompanist was sight-reading that day. While it's not a complicated piece, she wasn't able to to make the fun changes I'd hoped to make. She also had trouble following me on tempo changes. And I hadn't expected that she'd play my melody line with her right hand. All of this I discovered in our run-through 15 min. before the recital. So I set myself a different musical challenge. I wasn't able to relenquish all my interpretive freedom, but for the most part I synched myself up with the tempo and rhythm she played; otherwise we just would have sounded bad. I exercised my ensemble muscle instead of my solo muscle. That's OK. In that way, I felt like my old musical experience came to bear.
I had my first rehearsal for the improv-student performing teams on Saturday. The goals are different from those we aim for in class. In class, we go for characters, relationships, and solid scene structure, and rely on humor growing from that. In the performing teams, because we have so little time, we go more for the jokes. So it's a change in mindset, but that's OK. It's all about learning. I'm not thrilled with how I did in rehearsal, but that's also OK, ultimately. It would be weird if I never had a bad class or a bad show. It would be like those couples that never argue-- an indication that there are no risks being taken, and who you really are as a person is being hidden. So, there's a triumph for me: I risked enough to screw up :-).
The other team members are really nice. First performance is tomorrow. Eek! Each rehearsal, each performance -- they all scare me a little. But I hope that pushing through each time results in progress, and isn't just me pushing the same stone up the hill each time.
Yeah, it's gotta have a cumulative effect.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Physically Theatrical
Hi Folks. I thought I'd tell y'all a bit about what I was up to last week. It's kind of hard to explain, but I'll do what I can.
It's called physical theatre, but different companies define that differently. The company that ran this program combines dance,mime, and acrobatics to create non-verbal performances with varying levels of artistic abstraction. I did a day-long workshop with them a couple years ago when they came to my church, and I got to see them perform that night and at church the next morning. It was very cool. The feats they pull off are crazy. Strength, balance, and storytelling -- maybe like Blue Man Group or Cirque du Soleil, but without all the garnish. They use almost no props, which is where the mime comes in: They have to create environments and objects out of the air.
When I think "mime," I think cheese, but it wasn't like that (whew!). It'll actually come in handy in improv, where we have to do essentially the same thing. In improv we call it "object work." Because you don't know in advance what you'll do, you can't plan sets and props, so you have to act things out and make it as clear as possible to the audience and to the other performers. You act out an activity, interact with imaginary objects, go imaginary places. Mime is great for that.
As for the dance, we covered some of the most basic of the basic ballet and modern dance building blocks. It makes me want to be a better mover. I'm too busy for it right now, but the seed is planted in my head that I could take classes for different kinds of dance and become more graceful. Not that I'm a complete clod right now. It would just be neat learn some of these things for myself, even if they don't apply directly to my performance aspirations.
One thing I liked was breaking down movement into distinct parts: Incline your head to the right. Rotate your neck to the left. Project your chest forward. Lean your waist backwards. Incline your hips to the left. You can isolate body parts and be in control of them and put together cool movements by experimenting with different combinations. Here's a fun one to try: Move your head + neck and hips to the right, but keep your chest and waist centered. Then do the same to the left. Looks wacky! Breakdancers do a lot of moves using these kinds of isolations.
Another thing we did a lot of was non-traditional partnering. Traditional partnering would be like what they do in ballet -- the girl does something pretty, and the guy lifts her up and maybe tosses her somewhere. Non-traditional partnering is actually a bit like Renaissance music. In early music, parts were rarely written for specific instruments or voices; instead, there were lines written in various high and low ranges, and you used whatever instruments and voices you had to cover those ranges. So, as a sackbut (trombone) player, I could trade parts with a singer or a bassoon or a lower viol (precessor to a cello). In non-traditional partnering, your physiology does matter, but you can have any kind of pairing; it's not gender-specific. And you learn that you can bear a lot of weight if that weight is placed on strong bones and you're not relying on pure muscle. So, if I place two feet and one hand on the ground like a tripod, a 170 lb. man could wrap himself around my waist, with most of his weight over my hips and legs, and I could hold him up. (I can't move that much weight on any of the machines at the gym.) We learned to hold each other up by leaning toward each other, by grabbing wrists and leaning away, and by leaning onto each other until one person is completely off the ground. Eventually, you can start climbing around as if you're on a jungle gym. It sounds weird and like a serious violation of personal space, but it was pretty amazing how we were all able to change mindsets and think like dancers. I often partnered with other women, but I noticed that there was a difference in my own mind between the inside and the outside of the studio most when I partnered with guys: I could do all kinds of stuff in rehearsal, and still be shy when we ate dinner later that same day.
The whole week was a long exercise in noticing, facing, and pushing through my fears, both physical and social. We did a lot of group work, and it can be easy for me to feel like the odd man out and withdraw preemptively. So I had to choose to keep getting in there. And as with most of my fears, it turns out other people felt the same way and had to fight it just like I did.
And of course, there were lots of discussions about the purpose and nature of art and theater.
It's funny: While I was there, I longed for improv because I felt more comfortable with it. Now that I'm back, I'm afraid to get back into improv! But the great thing about doing all these scary things is that, once I've done them, I've done them! I've done something I've daydreamed about and now I have an experience instead of a wish.
So tonight, it's off to experience another improv class :-).
It's called physical theatre, but different companies define that differently. The company that ran this program combines dance,mime, and acrobatics to create non-verbal performances with varying levels of artistic abstraction. I did a day-long workshop with them a couple years ago when they came to my church, and I got to see them perform that night and at church the next morning. It was very cool. The feats they pull off are crazy. Strength, balance, and storytelling -- maybe like Blue Man Group or Cirque du Soleil, but without all the garnish. They use almost no props, which is where the mime comes in: They have to create environments and objects out of the air.
When I think "mime," I think cheese, but it wasn't like that (whew!). It'll actually come in handy in improv, where we have to do essentially the same thing. In improv we call it "object work." Because you don't know in advance what you'll do, you can't plan sets and props, so you have to act things out and make it as clear as possible to the audience and to the other performers. You act out an activity, interact with imaginary objects, go imaginary places. Mime is great for that.
As for the dance, we covered some of the most basic of the basic ballet and modern dance building blocks. It makes me want to be a better mover. I'm too busy for it right now, but the seed is planted in my head that I could take classes for different kinds of dance and become more graceful. Not that I'm a complete clod right now. It would just be neat learn some of these things for myself, even if they don't apply directly to my performance aspirations.
One thing I liked was breaking down movement into distinct parts: Incline your head to the right. Rotate your neck to the left. Project your chest forward. Lean your waist backwards. Incline your hips to the left. You can isolate body parts and be in control of them and put together cool movements by experimenting with different combinations. Here's a fun one to try: Move your head + neck and hips to the right, but keep your chest and waist centered. Then do the same to the left. Looks wacky! Breakdancers do a lot of moves using these kinds of isolations.
Another thing we did a lot of was non-traditional partnering. Traditional partnering would be like what they do in ballet -- the girl does something pretty, and the guy lifts her up and maybe tosses her somewhere. Non-traditional partnering is actually a bit like Renaissance music. In early music, parts were rarely written for specific instruments or voices; instead, there were lines written in various high and low ranges, and you used whatever instruments and voices you had to cover those ranges. So, as a sackbut (trombone) player, I could trade parts with a singer or a bassoon or a lower viol (precessor to a cello). In non-traditional partnering, your physiology does matter, but you can have any kind of pairing; it's not gender-specific. And you learn that you can bear a lot of weight if that weight is placed on strong bones and you're not relying on pure muscle. So, if I place two feet and one hand on the ground like a tripod, a 170 lb. man could wrap himself around my waist, with most of his weight over my hips and legs, and I could hold him up. (I can't move that much weight on any of the machines at the gym.) We learned to hold each other up by leaning toward each other, by grabbing wrists and leaning away, and by leaning onto each other until one person is completely off the ground. Eventually, you can start climbing around as if you're on a jungle gym. It sounds weird and like a serious violation of personal space, but it was pretty amazing how we were all able to change mindsets and think like dancers. I often partnered with other women, but I noticed that there was a difference in my own mind between the inside and the outside of the studio most when I partnered with guys: I could do all kinds of stuff in rehearsal, and still be shy when we ate dinner later that same day.
The whole week was a long exercise in noticing, facing, and pushing through my fears, both physical and social. We did a lot of group work, and it can be easy for me to feel like the odd man out and withdraw preemptively. So I had to choose to keep getting in there. And as with most of my fears, it turns out other people felt the same way and had to fight it just like I did.
And of course, there were lots of discussions about the purpose and nature of art and theater.
It's funny: While I was there, I longed for improv because I felt more comfortable with it. Now that I'm back, I'm afraid to get back into improv! But the great thing about doing all these scary things is that, once I've done them, I've done them! I've done something I've daydreamed about and now I have an experience instead of a wish.
So tonight, it's off to experience another improv class :-).
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Black and Blue
I gotta get to bed in preparation for my first day of work in over a week, but I wanted to let you know that I had a good time at my physical-theatre camp, and have the bruises to prove it. Lots of contact with a hardwood studio floor. I feel all hard core. (Hey, that rhymed.) Hoo-ah!
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Stop the Presses!
Whoa.
I'm sitting here on my couch, watching the Boston Pops 4th of July concert on TV. This is slightly weird, seeing as how I live in Boston and could have simply gone to the concert. But I was out all day at a cookout with the Burns family (who lived up to their name by wearing very little sunscreen, but were very welcoming and showed it by making fun of me just like my own family would).
Hey, they're using real cannons in the 1812 overture! There are army artillery guys out there on the Esplanade firing away, in time and everything. Awesome!
I can hear fireworks from my window.
Both those statements were tangential.
What got me online was a series of close-ups of one of the trombone players with the Boston Pops. I played in orchestras with this guy in high school! I Googled to make sure.
So, mild bummer, watching a professional orchestra play, since that's the life I left behind without having seen the fulfillment of my aspirations. But now I'm not bummed; I'm a bit stunned. See, after Googling my old section leader, I decided to give my email one last check before leaving my laptop behind for a week (I'm going out of town to a dancey kind of theater camp -- have I mentioned that?). Not much to see in the Inboxes. But new in the Spam folder...
"House Team Notification"
I made it onto a student improv team! I had resigned myself to not making it this go-around. I was even appreciating how God wasn't rushing things, and had moved on and was looking forward to my life in other ways. Now I have to shift gears back. But I think I'll live :-).
A mild hiccup, because this is real life: I'll miss the first rehearsal because I'll be out of town. But I doubt I'm the first person that's ever happened to. Assuming they don't relieve me of my place because of this conflict, when I return I'll be gearing up to be not just an improv student, but an improv performer! Woooooooo! I'm not onstage with a world-class orchestra like my old colleague, but I'll have a different stage.
Hey, this means that those of you in the Boston area can come see me! Let me know if you're interested.
Neil Diamond and Sweet Caroline now.
Sweet, indeed.
I'm sitting here on my couch, watching the Boston Pops 4th of July concert on TV. This is slightly weird, seeing as how I live in Boston and could have simply gone to the concert. But I was out all day at a cookout with the Burns family (who lived up to their name by wearing very little sunscreen, but were very welcoming and showed it by making fun of me just like my own family would).
Hey, they're using real cannons in the 1812 overture! There are army artillery guys out there on the Esplanade firing away, in time and everything. Awesome!
I can hear fireworks from my window.
Both those statements were tangential.
What got me online was a series of close-ups of one of the trombone players with the Boston Pops. I played in orchestras with this guy in high school! I Googled to make sure.
So, mild bummer, watching a professional orchestra play, since that's the life I left behind without having seen the fulfillment of my aspirations. But now I'm not bummed; I'm a bit stunned. See, after Googling my old section leader, I decided to give my email one last check before leaving my laptop behind for a week (I'm going out of town to a dancey kind of theater camp -- have I mentioned that?). Not much to see in the Inboxes. But new in the Spam folder...
"House Team Notification"
I made it onto a student improv team! I had resigned myself to not making it this go-around. I was even appreciating how God wasn't rushing things, and had moved on and was looking forward to my life in other ways. Now I have to shift gears back. But I think I'll live :-).
A mild hiccup, because this is real life: I'll miss the first rehearsal because I'll be out of town. But I doubt I'm the first person that's ever happened to. Assuming they don't relieve me of my place because of this conflict, when I return I'll be gearing up to be not just an improv student, but an improv performer! Woooooooo! I'm not onstage with a world-class orchestra like my old colleague, but I'll have a different stage.
Hey, this means that those of you in the Boston area can come see me! Let me know if you're interested.
Neil Diamond and Sweet Caroline now.
Sweet, indeed.
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