The Adventures of Gimpy Girl, Episode 2: Wherein I Wonder How I Can Milk This

I could work from home. That would be quite reasonable. Too reasonable, in fact.

I shall work from bed. But in order to stay in bed, I'll require help. I would like this help to come in the form of a trained monkey, because trained monkey! He'll be called Jerry, and he'll have to wear stupid outfits, because I want to be amused. I'll say, "Jerry, fetch me a drink! Make me a sandwich! Now dance, Monkey, dance! With oomph. Really work it."

And then I won't be able to let him go, even after I've recovered, because we'll have formed a bond. I'll take him to work at the office where he can further assist me.

But if he gets promoted first, our friendship is over.