How I've Been Acting So Far

Unemployment doesn't really feel like unemployment at this point. I've been responding to lots of ads for (mostly unpaid) acting work, and have taken several auditions and even shot a few amateur and student films. Most stuff happens within the span of a few days -- my week will look wide open on Monday, and by the end of Sunday I'll have had multiple auditions and shoots. It's giving me some much-needed experience, and will also help pad my resume and give me material for a reel (which is a series of video clips of the work you've done).

There was one week in there where I felt pretty good about how my new career was going. At my first couple auditions, I got a really positive response. By the third one, however, it had occurred to me that maybe the people I was auditioning for were just nice, and they were saying, "Awesome, awesome!" to lots of people. It's hard to tell. When I do get a part, is it because I didn't have much competition? When I don't get a part, is it because someone else just had the look the producers wanted, and it's not related to my skill level? There's no way to know. And there's no straight edge against which to measure myself. It's even more subjective than music, which is saying something. When I was a musician, I at least knew if I'd played what was on the page accurately. But acting feels much harder to pin down, at least to me. One person's idea of camp might  be someone else's idea of overacting. One person's idea of subtle understatement might  be someone else's idea of woodenness. 


Anyway, I'm out there. I don't have final, edited footage to show you guys yet, but hopefully that will start rolling in soon.


Another next step is to get professional headshots. I have a decent photo that I've been sending out, but it's clearly not a pro shot, and it makes a big difference when you have that, regardless of how good a likeness or how flattering the photo I have now is. It's like being good-looking, but showing up to an interview in shabby clothes; presentation is a big part of the impression you make. Once I have a pro shot, I'll start looking for paying work. A lot of big films shoot in Boston, so I may be able to get work as an extra. That's not a ton of money, but it would be moving in the right direction, and would pay as much as my unemployment benefits. And I hear they feed you!


So, that's my life over the past couple weeks. I'm trying not to worry too much about the future, because this is one of the few times in my life where I have the luxury of making decisions without fear. It's my chance to practice finding things I like, and not wasting energy on things I don't. Here's hoping I find lots of stuff to like!

Israelite in the Desert. And Flossing

I am an Israelite in the Desert. You may have caught that from the title. Here's what I mean:

The Israelites were in a bad situation that they didn't like (slavery in Egypt -- I doubt I'd like it, either). God got them out of there, and they were headed toward a land that would be great. But they had to go through the desert to get there. God hadn't given them a map, or even paved roads, but He went before them in a way that they could see and follow -- a pillar of cloud during the day, and a pillar of fire during the night. And he provided manna, a bread-like substance that appeared like dew every morning, but would only last for that day, so you had to collect it each day and couldn't stockpile it.

That's me. I didn't want to be in my day job, and God got me out. I have an idea of where I want to go (Musician Actress Comedian Writer Princessdom), but not much of an idea of how to get there. God hasn't given me a map, so I have to check in each day and see what inspires me and what opportunities present themselves.

Eventually, the Israelites got tired of wandering and started grumbling that they would have been better off if they'd stayed in Egypt. I'm not there yet. I can imagine, though, that if I get towards the end of my severance and still don't see a land of milk and honey on the horizon, I may begin to ponder what kind of new day job I might hate the least.   


But like I said, I'm not there yet. I really, really hated my job, and most of the other jobs I've had, and am in no hurry to have another. I'm not opposed to work itself; I just want to find something that doesn't make me hate my life.


In the meantime, I have days to fill that don't have much outside structure. That's interesting. I'm keeping a list of what I do each day, to prove that I did, in fact, do stuff. I have time to do workout videos, floss regularly, and get enough sleep. And I've been looking for activities that I think I would actually enjoy, mostly acting-related. 


Nope, definitely don't miss the job.