Contemplative Holiday

This year, because my brother the pilot is flying on Christmas, our family will celebrate three days late. I still have the day off work, though, which means I get a rare, cherished day by myself in the Hobbit Hole. A list of thoughts I am having throughout this holy day:

-- I can drink before breakfast!

-- I could eat a banana and then make pancakes. Or, wait, I could put the banana IN THE FUCKING PANCAKES!

-- What happens if I put this nectarine on this radiator?

-- Probably gonna poop soon.

-- Whoops, dropseat on the footie pajamas got caught on the doorknob.

-- Hey, look how my tummy's flatter after pooping. Neato.

-- Let's rotate that nectarine.

-- I'll eat a banana, then drink, then put another banana in the pancakes. Fruit.

-- I like that it's cold outside,

-- The sackbut/trombone players on this Renaissance Christmas album are outstanding. Little bit jealous.

-- Radiator burn. Ow.

-- Would Monteverdi have had female sopranos?

-- This shampoo makes my head feel minty. Minty is a feeling.

-- Gah, lotion is cold! Can I microwave it? No, don't do it.

-- Can you put Kahlua in pancakes?

-- I can wear Christmas socks today!

-- Ugh, I don't wanna wear my good underwear. Do laundry.

-- Of all the trees that are in the wood, the holly bears the crown. Indeed.

-- Let's play with hair gel.

-- Misread that line from Psalm 92, "They are full of sap," as, "They are full of crap."

-- I should ask the dermatologist about this.

-- The milk is frozen. Should not have messed with the fridge temperature just because the Polaner All Fruit went moldy.

-- Let's play it safe and remove that tangerine.

-- OK, enough Facebook. Time for yoga/nap on the floor. Remove the Smurf hat first.

-- It's not perfect, and it's OK.

-- Based on the impressions on this mat, my heels are surprisingly spherical.

-- The jazz flute on this prophetic worship album reminds me of Ron Burgundy.

-- "No diggity, just back it up..."

-- Let this day be what it is.