Showdown

I wrote this back in college. (OK, who's been paying attention and can tell me when that was?) It should be read aloud. I imagine Chuck sounding like John Wayne.
My apologies to Charlie Daniels. OK, not really.

Chuck was a duck with a bigfoot truck
That he liked to drive around.
But one day a goose with a few screws loose
Drove a bigger one into town.

The goose said, “Chuck, you chicken duck,
You think your truck is fine?
Well think again, you sissy hen,
And get a load of mine!

“It’s got big wheels and it’s got big doors
And it’s got big tailpipes.
It’s got a horn that’ll shear yer corn
And six hundred blinkin’ lights!”

When the goose was done, ol’ Chuck said, “Son,
You got quite a mouth on you.
So let’s hit the trail and haul some tail
And we’ll see what you can do.”

Fiddle Interlude

Folks waddled down from all over town
And craned their necks to see
After this bigfoot rodeo
Who the better bird would be.

Webbed feet slammed the pedals and the whole crowd settled
To watch the muddy show.
The goose pulled ahead when a pelican said,
“Stand back, she’s gonna blow!”

In a flurry of feathers, the whole crows scattered
In confusion and commotion –
The lights on the goose’s monster truck
Had caused a big explosion.

“Son of a gun, I guess we’re done!”
Laughed Chuck from his vantage point.
The goose just cringed with his feathers singed
And his ego out of joint.

More Fiddles

Well, the devil – oops, goose – bowed his head
‘Cause he knew that he’d been beat.
With a frown, he waddled out of town
In the agony of defeat.

“Bet he can’t even burp, the honkin’ twerp,”
Said the townsfolk with a growl.
Said Chuck, “That’ll teach him not to mess
With smaller waterfowl.”