Saturday, January 31, 2009

Wisdom and Gratitude

I just wanted to express my appreciation for the great advice I've been getting from my genius friends and family about how to weather sickness. Thanks a bunch, Ben and Brother. I'll start stockpiling the liquor and ammo so I'm prepared for next time. Because what's more effective than guns or alcohol than guns and alcohol?

Match the Injury

Let's play a game! And let's laugh at my brother! Two worthy pasttimes.

I'm not physically brave. Extreme sports are not for me. Most regular sports are not for me. My brother is the brave one. This has led to injuries, scars, and fun stories. I thought it would be nifty to give you all a list of some of the activities my brother has participated in, along with a list of the more painful consequences of said activities, and see if you can match them up. The answers are given in a comment, so you don't have to worry about trying not to peek. The list of activities is longer than the list of damages, for added challenge. Have fun!

1. Broken arm
2. Dislocated finger
3. Stitches in forehead
4. Sprained ankle
5. Permanent scarring on forearm

a.
Walking
b. Wrestling
c.
Sledding
d. Football
e. Dancing
f. Biking
g.
Track and Field (javelin, discus, shotput)
h. Volleyball

Friday, January 23, 2009

And Again Today

I don't remember the last time I had to take two sick days in a row! There were the surgeries, but that's a bit different because they were planned. Today I was totally planning on going to work, until I took a shower and it hurt. I don't think showers are supposed to hurt. So I'm home.

I don't own a thermometer, but I suspect I have a fever. I suspect this because I alternate between sweating and shivering. There's a scene in the Walk Hard movie I just saw where Dewey is in rehab:

Dewey: I'm cold!
Nurse: We need more blankets!

Dewey: I'm hot!
Nurse: We need fewer blankets!

Dewey: I'm hot and cold and the same time!
Nurse: We need more and less blankets!

That's me.

Anya, thanks for cheering me on about staying home. I find myself tempted to be all martyr-y, especially since I feel OK some of the time. And my job doesn't involve much beyond sitting. What really stopped me from going in today, though, was the commute. There is a minimum of three legs each way to my journey, and I didn't really feel up to any of them. I was also scheduled to babysit for a friend after work, and I backed out of that after doing some simple math in my head: My cough + his asthma = a trip to the emergency room.

So I'm at home with messy hair, eating Cream of Rice and blogging. Responsibility takes many forms.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Today I Am Sick

So I've been drugging myself and trying to be unconscious as much as possible. Who wants to be awake if it means having to be aware of your own suffering? And isn't sleep the most recuperative thing you can do for a sick body? Well, then.

Actually, all this sleeping seems to be working quite well, because I'm already feeling much better. Had to cancel this morning's dentist appointment, though, and not just because I felt pretty bad around 7am; it just seemed wrong to force people to work on my mouth while I'm carrying around so many germs.

The impulse to be a baby gets pretty strong when you feel sick, doesn't it? Don't you want to be taken care of -- have somebody bring you food and water in bed, and be sympathetic when you think you might barf? I'm not sure you ever outgrow that.

As with many things, I find it takes a fair bit of discipline to allow myself to relax and recover. It's OK to take a day to sleep, read, and watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVDs, if it means being fully functional the next day, instead of dragging the illness out and passing it along to everyone who comes within three yards of me. It's for my fellow man that I force myself to be a bum today. You're welcome.

Monday, January 19, 2009

"True Beauty"

This is a new reality show from Ashton Kutcher. If I remember correctly, one of the contestants said, "There is a lot of hate when you're beautiful." I'm thinking of making this the new tagline on my blog -- to go with the picture of me in the big hat.

What do you think?

You Don't Want an Apology

You want posts. I don't have much of an explanation as to why I haven't posted lately. All I can say is I thought about it sometimes, but I didn't do it.

So to get myself back into the posting groove, here's some random stuff.

I have scratches on my hand and I don't know how they got there. Perhaps I have multiple personalities and am blacking out and I'm living secret lives that even I don't know about. Sometimes the simplest explanation is the most reasonable.

I saw the movie "Walk Hard" with some friends tonight, and we laughed out loud at just about every line for the first fifteen minutes. If you don't mind puerile jokes and nude scenes, you'll probably enjoy it, too. If you rent the DVD, there are also some funny special features. "The Last Word" with John Hodgeman (hey Ben -- John Hodgeman!), had me laughing out loud. Yeah, lots of laughing out loud in general. Even after the wine wore off.

After several weeks off, improv classes have started again. They scare me. But you know, in a good way. I'm now on Level 3, which means I was eligible to audition for their student performing teams. Didn't get in, but at least I gave it a shot. If facing fear is a victory in itself, then I was a victor that day. I do well when you don't measure success by, like, success.

I got another Chinatown haircut! It's all short and bobby and spunky and cute. And most of it is my natural color now, which is blonder than I thought it would be. Especially under florescent lights.

I have become Obnoxious Baby Picture Person. I never thought this would happen to me. It must be deeply ingrained in our DNA, such that resistance is futile. I got a digital camera for my birthday, right before Christmas, and I took pictures of my nephew -- holding a bottle of beer, wearing a cute hat, making faces. And then I forced the roommate who had the misfortune of sitting next to me when I uploaded them to my computer to look at them. (John, I'm sorry. You were a good sport.) I've never been baby-crazy, but them infants sure is funny when they're related to you. The Neph holds his mouth open like a baby bird waiting to be fed, which could have amused me all day. But then, I also like to color.

And now it's 2:30 am. Not good for the sleep schedule. When, oh when, will I find work that allows me to be nocturnal? Saturday Night Live, when will you hire me? I've been right there in my cubicle, waiting to be discovered. Surely it's just a matter of time. Lorne Michaels, call me!