My Chinese Haircut

You can get $20 haircuts in Chinatown! Risky, you ask? Perhaps. You're a lot of things, Holly, you may be thinking, but Chinese is not one of them.

You're right. Just about everything about the shape of my head and face is as far from Asian as you can get. But my stylist was cool, and she didn't steer me wrong. I got tons of compliments on the cut she gave me back in September. That was all I needed to be convinced it was a good idea.

I went back today, to the same woman. She said she liked my hair color. "The real color or the dyed color?" I had to ask. Answer: The real color! And here I was thinking it was mousy. I'm not sure what mousy really means, but my hair has been in this awkward transition between blonde and brown for the last several years, and mousy somehow seems to apply.

Apparently, though, lots of Asian girls try to get their hair dyed my color, and it's pretty difficult to do when the original color is very dark. They're also quite big on light skin in Asia, aren't they? My Chinese roommate once told me that pronounced (rather than flat) noses are seen as a sign of nobility. And she said that there's a disturbing trend where Asian women get creases added to their eyelids to make them appear Western.

Fair hair, pale skin, pronounced noses, Western eyes. You know what all this adds up to, right? Me! All this time, I've been a hot Asian chick and I had no idea. Why didn't I learn all this sooner? I could be on a tour of the Far East right now.