Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I'm Gonna Be a Star!

And Baby, you can drive my car ;-).

My friend Ben, a.k.a. The Serial Killer, is taking film classes. Whew! I can hear you say. What a relief! This is evidence that he's not a serial killer, because film students are so normal. You all can rest easier with the assumption that if he's spending unusual amounts of time in a basement with video equipment, it's because he's doing something artsy.

In a previous post, I alluded to starring in one of his homework projects (I played a woman who arrived at a furniture store after it closed and called her boyfriend to tell him she couldn't get the chair he wanted. My performance was Oscar-worthy. Well, I haven't seen it, but surely it was Oscar-worthy. There was Drama.) I was paid in Mexican food ($7 enchilada plate -- score!).

Today, I had a bit part in another assignment. The shot took place in the future, and I got to wear a tinfoil hat. Tinfoil hat!

I'm enjoying that improv class, too. During drinks after class last night, one of the guys said I was good at it, noting that "not a lot of women are funny." I chose to take the compliment. No disrespect to all the funny ladies out there.

For most of my life, I'd ruled out acting. I did a couple years of drama club in junior high, and wanted to be in old-fashioned musicals, but was already focused on playing the trombone and told myself not to get distracted. Later, I was afraid I wasn't pretty enough. And then I assumed I didn't have acting talent.

God is erasing the big "NO" I've had written over that whole area. People keep asking me what I want to do and what I'm doing to actively pursue that goal, but this season is about broadening horizons, not narrowing them. I've begun telling people that I want to be a rock-star actress comedian writer, and I'm not really joking. I expect to pick up music again, and I DO want to write and perform/act/be on stage and somehow be involved with humor and comedy. Why not? I was the one who'd said no, not God.

As little opportunities come my way, I say yes. Yes to this blog. Yes to karaoke nights. Yes to improv.

Yes to tinfoil hats.


Saturday, June 21, 2008

Hey There, Delilah

One of my new roommates has pets. There's Jake the dog, who's a big sweetie. And there's Delilah the cat. As many of you know, I lean more in the dog direction, but I have to say that Delilah is actually pretty cool. In fact, if I were to describe her in two words, they would be:

1. Freaking
2. Hilarious

You might say, "So she's funny, but looks aren't everything" (ba-dum ching!). To which I would reply: Yes, they are, and they are exactly what makes Delilah so funny. She has this flat face and squinty eyes and crazy fur. And no spine. She can lie on her back and roll up to lick any part of herself, and will let her legs point in any direction they want to to get the job done. I've never seen a cat do this. It doesn't exactly make her a role model for young ladies, but I find it highly entertaining.

I haven't quite figured out what kind of person I think she'd be like. So far the best I've come up with is Trailer Park Mama. Pretty laid back in the looks department -- curlers in her hair, great big pink mumu (moo-moo? how do you spell it? you know, those things that look like nightgowns) -- but perfectly friendly, happy to invite you in and share her beer.

My roommate is even writing a children's book about Delilah. I'll let you know when that comes to fruition. In the meantime, I'll leave you to ponder Delilah's self-grooming regimen. You know you were.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Three Days

If I shed the irony, will everybody cheer me? -- Barenaked Ladies

Two weeks ago tonight, I was in Connecticut, chilling at my parents' place before going on a weekend known as Tres Dias. It started out as a movement withing the Catholic church in Spain, where it was known as Cursillo, and Tres Dias is the ecumenical version. It is, as the name suggests (for those of you who figured out the Spanish), a three-day weekend. During this time, talks are given, chapel services held, discussions are had, and lots of food is eaten.

I didn't know what I was in for. My mom had done a weekend a couple years ago and really enjoyed it, and I was happy to go along and hang out with her and do whatever came my way. That turned out to be a pretty useful attitude; one of the oft-repeated phrases of the weekend is, Don't anticipate, participate! It gets annoying. But it's good for people who have control issues, or who, like me, tend to be so analytical that they don't fully engage.

I had to ditch a lot of things to engage in the weekend experience. Ironic detachment was a biggie. Normally, when given a Christian setting that involves butterflies and teddy bears, I would have shrunk back in aesthetic snobbery. But that didn't seem like the best plan here. I decided instead to dive in and accept things for what they were, not for what I wished they were. And I ended up receiving a lot.

What I heard were women sharing real stories of what a big, loving God had done in their lives. What I saw were women being loved by God and drawing pictures for Him to put on His fridge, and God loving every minute of it. And because I allowed myself to stop analyzing constantly (and was even partially successful!), and because I allowed myself to genuinely appreciate others' ideas and experiences and communication styles, I was able to take in the love of God in whatever form it came. So many times over the weekend, I found myself enjoying Jesus' love for me. I wanted to spray-paint His name on a water tower. I wanted to write "Jesus hearts Holly" all over my math notebook.

I wasn't able to keep analysis at bay forever, and I thought about what I'd say on my blog when I returned to Boston. I wondered what overview I could give, what jokes and clever turns of phrase I could make. I wondered how I could explain my experience to people who don't know Jesus and perhaps don't want to (although if you do want to and aren't sure what to do, I can introduce you -- there's nothing I'd like better!). But I realized that, while God gave me my senses of humor and irony, He also gave me a capacity for genuine feeling and expression. So, without irony, without apology, and without qualification:

I want Jesus so much.
I love Jesus SO MUCH.

I Am Not Dead

Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen,
I come to you after a long, unexplained absence. Sorry about that. Over the last three weeks, my activities have included, but not been limited to, the following:

-- moving across town
-- painting a room (my first time!)
-- getting paint in my hair
-- going on a Christian weekend with my mom
-- acting for - nay, starring in - a homework assignment for my friend's film class
-- plastering the seams of a temporary wall (another first!)
-- begin attending that improv class I told you all about
-- doing 8 bazillion loads of laundry, and only have about 400,000 to go.

So, I've been accumulating stories and amusing anecdotes and the deep thoughts you've come to expect, but haven't had the usual abundance of lounging time during which I could blog about it. I've kind of had a life! Crazy, huh? Don't worry, I'm still hoping to find some kind of balance between having a worthwhile existence and taking the time to tell everyone else about it.

Monday, June 02, 2008

I Am Still Employed

This is disappointing.

I'd been daydreaming about severance since last fall, when rumors started swirling about our division's impending sale to another company. In many ways, I've been ready to move on to more creative work for a long time, but I didn't have any other job to go to, or any real specific idea about what I wanted to do, or how to go about finding it. So I stayed put, thinking that if I could only get myself laid off, I'd have six glorious weeks to figure it out. It would also be a convenient time for God to drop something spiffy in my lap.

After holding out for months, waiting for blessed redundancy, the day finally came: The sale is final! Come to the office today to learn your fate! Several of my friends were told that they're only needed through September or December. But of course this isn't based on talent or commitment; it's based on whether they already have someone to do your job or not. Turns out there's no one quite like me. Darn my indispensability! I was offered a job, permanently. Rats and double rats.

So, on to Plan B. Whatever that is. At this point, it will mostly be prayer. Although I did sign up for a comic improv class this summer, which should be challenging and fun at least, and may lead me down unknown paths, perhaps even leading to physical injury.

Hey, disability leave!