... for I am available.
I just don't know what I'm doing. How exactly does one convey "godly" and "on the prowl" at the same time? Wear a leopard-print head covering? Quote the naughty passages in the Bible? Do a Bend and Snap to pick up a dropped Communion card?
This is hard.
Wait, I know. I'll ask somebody else to do the heavy lifting. Dad, I'm still your little princess, right? Would you do something kingly for me and maybe stage a tournament in the front yard -- you know, so eligible men could compete for my hand? I'm thinking a test of strength (caber toss?), a test of courage (going down the fire pole -- extra points for doing it head-first), a miscellaneous skill of their choosing (play the lute? exceptional penmanship? surprise me, gentlemen!), and some demonstration of a sense of humor. That'd be awesome, thanks!
Whew! That wasn't so bad. Now to sit back and wait.
[Cricket chirps.]
Um...
[Checking watch.]
Heck.
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3 comments:
absolutely hysterical.
I think you would be a master at the bend and snap, for what its worth ;)
Make haste, my beloved, and be thou like to a roe or to a young hart upon the mountains of spices...you cutie-pie.
Hmmm. That didn't sound so good.
Or: Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou hangest out at a local, decent bar, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon while you go out for lunch at a great little sandwich place downtown: for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?
Uh. Good luck.
Inspiring words, Ben. Inspiring words.
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