And Speaking of Monsters (because I'm all about the segues today)...

I went to my first Red Sox game two weeks ago! They lost in a big way to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, but I ordered a hot dog from one of those guys who sells them among the folks in the bleachers, so the day was a success for me.

Baseball parks are an experience, and I soaked up the smells (ballpark food!), sounds (swearing women and little kids learning to say, "Get that idiot ump some eyeglasses!"), and sights. Fenway has a big wall known as the Green Monster (or "monstah" in Bostonian). This has led to the Sox having a mascot named Wally (ha!) who is himself a green monster.

I thought about the whole mascot thing. It's probably hard being in that suit on a 90-degree day, but as I'm colder than most people, I imagine I could bear the heat more easily than most as well. And what else might be involved -- hugging children? doing goofy dances? hamming it up for a camera?

Fit the skill set of any bloggers you know?

So I decided I want to be Wally. I mean, I want to be the guy in the Wally outfit. I got really excited at the thought, though that could have been the caffeine-filled migraine pill I took hitting my system. One of my coworkers, sitting next to me, said that her roommate used to date the current Wally's brother, and that the job probably pays around $30K a year. Um, not to give y'all more info than you wanted about my finances, but if they give you benefits with that, then that wouldn't necessarily be a step down for me.

I even looked it up online. I'd thought maybe this would be the sort of thing you'd only have to do from Spring Training through the World Series, giving you several months off in between to do other fun stuff and earn more money. But I think Wally makes appearances at a lot of functions and charity events, visiting children's hospitals and such, and that probably goes year-round. Makes sense. Even so, I may check in every once in a while and see if that spot opens up.

I've already begun imagining what kind of dance moves would work in a big round suit.