Someday I will own a great big dog and I will name him Snort. He will have lots of soft fur and he will outweigh me by 30 pounds. I will train him to obey when we're out of the house, and everyone will be impressed with what a good boy he is, and with the fact that a lithe, willowy female like myself can control such a powerful beast. No one will mess with me. If I fall in a pond at the park, he will fish me out. When we're home, I will teach him to behave like various household items: "Snort, slippers!" and he will lie across my feet and keep them warm. "Snort, pillow!" and he will lie next to me on the couch so I can recline against something warm and furry. "Snort, TV tray!" and he, who by virtue of his size has no business being a lap dog, will flop himself over my lap, pinning me to the couch, and I will set my dinner plate on him while I watch TV.
Good boy.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hmmm...one of my nicknames is snort. But I'm sorry to say that I don't think I will ever be a particuarly great pair of slippers :)
Ahh, go one, admit it! You'd like a NEWF!
Post a Comment