This is disappointing.
I'd been daydreaming about severance since last fall, when rumors started swirling about our division's impending sale to another company. In many ways, I've been ready to move on to more creative work for a long time, but I didn't have any other job to go to, or any real specific idea about what I wanted to do, or how to go about finding it. So I stayed put, thinking that if I could only get myself laid off, I'd have six glorious weeks to figure it out. It would also be a convenient time for God to drop something spiffy in my lap.
After holding out for months, waiting for blessed redundancy, the day finally came: The sale is final! Come to the office today to learn your fate! Several of my friends were told that they're only needed through September or December. But of course this isn't based on talent or commitment; it's based on whether they already have someone to do your job or not. Turns out there's no one quite like me. Darn my indispensability! I was offered a job, permanently. Rats and double rats.
So, on to Plan B. Whatever that is. At this point, it will mostly be prayer. Although I did sign up for a comic improv class this summer, which should be challenging and fun at least, and may lead me down unknown paths, perhaps even leading to physical injury.
Hey, disability leave!
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5 comments:
Improv!!! Yay, Hol. That should be a hoot.
Yes, yay improv!
But I still think you should give some thought to my suggestion: radical incompetence paired with the illusion of effort.
Let me explain. If you pretend to be utterly incompetent at the new company, you might just get fired, which would leave you high and dry with no severance. Bad idea.
If, however, you pretend to be incompetent while maintaining the illusion that you're trying diligently and faithfully to do your work, the pathos factor will kick in. They'll feel so sorry for you that you won't get fired--you'll be laid off instead, with severance. Call it the Fozzie Bear approach. He inspires pathos and people love him for it--but they don't expect him to, you know, do anything useful!
Brilliant! This approach would utilize several of my most innate traits.
Was Ben laid off? If not, why would you want to take his advice? I think your employer is reading your blog and figures you will eventually quit anyway saving themselves a few dollars. Perhaps you should write a blog about your slavish devotion to the rules of inertia. An object a rest tends to stay at rest... That may get them to use some of their potential energy on you...
Holly,
Yay, I'm glad you signed up for Improv! You know, you are really funny...
Your Asian roommate
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