Sunday, August 30, 2009

What's with the Pervy Vampires?

It's not so much that I want a vampire. I'm just annoyed that they don't want me.

All these movies and TV shows about guys who become vampires at age 17 or so. They get all undead and, naturally (unnaturally?) stop aging. At least physically. But if that happened to you a hundred years ago, surely the last century has brought its share of life experience. Emotionally, then, what could you possibly have in common with a high school girl? The not-yet-legal 16-year-old. Really?

OK, I can understand not wanting to date someone close to your age at that point. And you've probably given up on finding somebody who understands cultural references from your true youth ("Boy, wasn't W.C. Fields a scream in his Vaudeville days?"). But have you not matured at all? Do you not want someone who's at least old enough to vote, and maybe has a job?

Say, a youthful 34?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, though I agree with your assessment of vampires being pervy entirely, I also somewhat sympathize with them. No matter how old we may get or how many things we can learn over the years some of us will be forever stuck in that teenage mentality which naturally makes teenagers the objects of our desires. Sad but inescapably true - sigh! At least the vampires stand a chance at getting away with such shenanigans because they themselves still look the part. If only the aged rest of us could be so lucky!