"Oh, and the way the Jello shots matched the bridesmaids' dresses was truly moving..."

My brother is getting married next weekend. Ever since the engagement on New Year's Eve, he and his bride have been making the same anticipatory comment about the wedding: "It's gonna be a good time." Not, "It will be beautiful," or "It will be meaningful," but "It's gonna be a good time." And I think that's fantastic. I'm sure that committing their lives to each other will be both beautiful and meaningful, but I also have a not-so-sneaking suspicion that the ceremony is largely a church service they'll have to stay awake through in order to get to the party afterwards. Personally, I expect to be a teary mess during the ceremony, and I plan on having a ball for hours into the night at the reception.

In addition to the open bar (in a wedding full of Italians and Navy men, open bars are mandated by law), my brother and his future father-in-law thought it would be the best thing ever for each table to have its own styrofoam cooler full of Busch beer. As unquestionably classy as that is, I wondered what the bride would think. I asked her if she gave her stamp of approval to the cooler decision and she said, "Oh, no! I've always wanted my wedding to be a kegger." So there you go, my brother has found the perfect woman.

Children aren't invited to the wedding, largely for safety issues -- it's all taking place outdoors, near a small cliff overlooking the ocean, and we don't want any young 'uns going over the edge. It's especially hazardous as there are shrubs at the edge, and when it gets dark you may not know the ground stops. I don't know what we're going to do about inebriated groomsmen trying to pee on the shrubs and taking a tumble. We may have to do headcounts every hour or so. Or at least a sweep of the shoreline the following morning.

This is also a big week-long family gathering, so I don't know how much I'll be able to post over the next week. I'll try to live some good stories, though, so it will be worth the wait when I come back.