Some Things I May Choose Not to Think About

Since thinking about them endlessly has only led to thinking about them endlessly.

-- How to forgive people, and all the intricacies thereof. I've chosen to forgive countless times, but I'm quite fuzzy on what forgiveness is, exactly. I'm just pretty sure I haven't done it. But thinking about it usually involves thinking about what they did that I need to forgive, and that stirs up my desire for justice rather than an impulse toward mercy and charity.

-- Whether my Nov. 4 prayers will be answered, and my participation in those answers. I get all tense and angsty. And worried. And then I brace for disappointment. But really, if it all comes down to me learning to be myself and having life flow from that, then it won't be so much about me trying to Be Good, or be good at something, or Be Something. Try? There is no "try." Only do. Y'all can let me know if I got that Yoda quote right.

-- Whether my risks will pan out. I can't know what response I'll get to the assignments I'll write for my sketch comedy class, or whether I'll the positions I audition for, or whether guys will ask me out after I talk to them at parties. I tend to feel like it's the responsible thing to be hugely invested in every little thing I try, but that puts a lot of pressure on each of those little things.

OK, gotta run! Even if I hold it lightly, there's no need to be late for that sketch class!