We don't officially have this day off at work. What we have are some "floating holidays," which we can use as we choose. So I chose to take today off. And I've realized that this day is not about rest, or about getting things done that I might feel rushed doing on a workday. Today is about avoiding a job I've come to dread.
Since I joined publishing 4 1/2 years ago, I never planned to stay. I wanted something better. But that's the thing -- it had to be better. And I'd had worse, so I knew that my present situation wasn't too bad. Most of the time, it was neutral. It paid my bills and paid for some fun classes that helped me explore my real interests. It required little of me but my time. And my bosses and coworkers have been wonderful.
Most of the time.
Sometimes, it would get stressful, and I would want out. I've hit that point again, and have been there for months. I may get used to these new tasks and settle back into neutral mode. But I don't want to. I want out. I just don't know where I'd go or what I'd do. I don't know what other job I could get that I would hate less. I have no desire to deal with the stress of unemployment. And I'm still thinking of quitting. It's that bad.
I'm actually considering retail.
About Me
- Holly
- I'm 38 years old, and over a decade into a time of serious Waiting. Waiting for everything I'd always hoped I'd have. I've had to let go of some dreams, but instead of losing them, it's looking like God is bringing them back with some other long-forgotten dreams in tow. I'm now in the process of exploring things I'd previously ruled out for myself, and they all involve performance or audience interaction somehow. So it appears I'm a ham. Still waiting, still in process, but becoming ever more hopeful. A Christian looking for God in what's real. Trying to figure stuff out. Let me know if you think I'm onto anything.
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