I did a bad thing.

You're familiar with the scenario: A kid is playing ball in the house. His mom tells him to stop or he'll break something. He keeps doing it anyway and breaks her favorite vase.

Now let's say the ball is a piece of taffy, the kid is me, and the vase is, uh, taffy again, and you have the situation in our kitchen two nights ago.

In case you're thinking to yourself, But a vase is art; taffy isn't art, allow me to gently correct you: YES IT IS. My roommate is an artist, so when she sets out an object because it's cool-looking, it's art. But I'm not an artist. I'm a musician, and an immature one. I make noise. And so does taffy, in the right hands (mine).

Much like my dad's prize birch, it was right out there, where I could reach it, so it's not my fault that I took it and played with it. I knew I could get a good slap out of it if I placed my hand flat against it and smacked it against the table. So I did. *BAM!* Ha ha, yes! *BAM!* That was fun. But that's enough; don't want to be greedy, seeing as how it's not my taffy and all. I'll just put it back now and -- uh-oh. Are those broken bits? Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. I'll put it back and maybe my roommate won't know. It'll still look pretty or maybe she'll think it fell or maybe she'll think it was that way when she put it in the kitchen and she doesn't have to know what I did. But that's not cool. My conscience will bother me and George Washington and the cherry tree and surely there's a verse in the Bible about how thou shalt not pull a hit-and-run on thy neighbor's art/taffy. So I left a note:

Dear S--,
I thwacked it and I cracked it and now I'm embarassed and sorry. Can I make it up to you somehow?
Holly

She forgave me, because she's cool. I was relieved; I was prepared to go on the Internet and find replacement taffy and everything. But even after all the guilt and fear of confrontation, I'm not sure I've really learned my lesson. I suspect the only thing stopping me from hitting other food items is the assumption that, frankly, they just wouldn't sound that good.