I have an unwritten list of things I want to do when I have disposable income. Near the top: Wear hats. Why would it cost money to wear hats? you may ask. Answer: It doesn't. But it costs money to buy them. And, unlike umbrellas, you can't just pick them up for free at restaurant coat checks. You have to find ones that look good on you and don't have lice.
For many a year, I assumed I wouldn't look good in hats. Boy, was I wrong! I look freaking amazing. It's a bit of a shame we don't live in a hat-wearing society. Sixty years ago, everybody wore one. Now, unless it's a baseball cap and you're moving furniture, you probably don't sport any head gear. It takes some free-spiritedness. But I feel ready! Even if it turns out I can't pull it off as well as I think I can, I'll never find out if I don't try. But I need money. Dagnabbit.
You know what I don't look good in? Lace. Makes me look like a librarian. Not the secretly sexy kind, either. The kind who shushes you all the time, and really, really means it. I think it's because I'm bony. The ironically square look looks unironic on me. Mary Janes? Forget it. I might turn a few heads, but only because people would be checking to see if I had a literal stick coming out of my ass.
Though that would give me something to hang my hat on.
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