Seriously, Verizon?

Verizon has done it again. I don't even have an Inernet account with them anymore, and they've managed to do it again.

I got the old account moved to a roommate's name. I moved away. A year ago. But like a stalker just released from jail, Verizon tracked me down once I thought I was finally free. This past Thursday, I got a call from them saying they'd received a complaint from me. Um, not recently. Apparently, someone is having trouble with the account, and somewhere in the bowels of Verizon's records, they still have it listed under my name The woman who called me was nice and didn't push the issue, but she wasn't able to fix it, either.

So I gave them a call to get my name erased from every document they've ever had, so they can't call me and can't find my new apartment and can't keep texting me and asking if I'll meet their parents because no one's as pretty as I am. And they said I'm not listed on an account with them.

Great. I am, but I'm not. I'm listed enough for them to call me, but not enough for them to erase that listing. Sounds like a stalker ploy to me!

Please lose my number again, Verizon. Please stop thinking that we "had something special." Don't make me get that restraining order.

Because I will.