Brotherly Love

The family was together at my parents' home this weekend. My brother and his wife are in the process of closing on their first home and all sorts of impressive grown-up activities. She's coordinating the bulk of it while he's in various other parts of the country, finishing up his training. Don't let all her brains and ability fool you, though. Sure, my brother was attracted to her strong character and intelligence, but I once heard him claim that he knew she was The One when they went to see Jackass, The Movie, and instead of squirming or being offended, she laughed her jackass off.

L is sometimes fascinated/appalled at our brother-sister dynamic. (She's an only child. She says her parents felt no need to mess with perfection.) Yesterday morning, J had made some hot cereal and couldn't finish it all, so he pushed it in my direction because I was hungry, saying, "I guess you'll want your own spoon."
"Oh, I'm not picky..." and I looked up to see him, eyes wide with sadistic glee (his usual expression), licking his spoon exaggeratedly. Liiiiiick. "You still want it?" Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick. "You still want it?" If even I wasn't grossed out at this point, it was a matter of honor to get up and get my own clean spoon.
"Just trying to help you make a decision," he said. "You seemed to be having some trouble there." L shook her head.
I explained, "You learn to receive affection differently when you have a brother. There was one Thanksgiving when he threw a roll at me across the table."
"I remember that," J chimed in helpfully.
I went on, "People think it's bad that he threw something at me. But he did it because he knew I liked rolls." Some see a projectile. I saw a young man giving up food from his own plate. Brings a tear to the eye, does it not?

Thinking about this does bring up a question for me. J, if you're reading this, do you remember: Did I catch the roll? My ego wants to know.

Here are some of the other services my brother provides:

- He points out when I'm doing or saying something stupid.
- He tells me when I look bad before I take myself in public (L is also happy to help in this regard)
- He offers to "talk to" people who insult me (though he may feel as territorial as protective -- dissing me is, after all, his job).
- He teaches me to cheat at party games -- with flair! (He taught me so well, in fact, that during a game of Scattergories, when we had to come up with a President whose name started with the letter I, he and I both came up with "I-senhower.")
- He keeps an eye on me when I go drinking. Though this may be largely for his own amusement. And he's as likely as not to say, "Do you think he's cute? Then finish your drink and go talk to him," and push me toward the bar.

All in all, a pretty useful guy to have around.