Cheap Date

After 200+ posts, you all probably have a certain image of me. I can imagine your thoughts. Holly: That broad is straight-up class. And yeah, I am. It may surprise you, however, that at heart I'm a simple girl with simple tastes. I'm as happy eating a burger as I am eating a steak. I'm usually content to go to the movies, or even stay home and watch something from Netflix. A cheap date, really. And fellas, I'm single! Can you believe some cheap bastard hasn't snatched me up yet? Astounding. I just can't work it out. Which reminds me of a joke I heard from my roommate, Helen (the one with the feet):

What did the constipated mathematician do?

He worked it out with a pencil.

Ha! See? A sense of humor, too! I'm great at parties. Call me!

Anyway:
I gagged on lobster once. Really, I gagged on it. I was never a big seafood fan, but usually I can at least get the stuff down. Not this time. It was at a surf-n-turf party, and the host had gotten each guest a lobster. I'd never had it, but everyone likes lobster, right? But it was all slimy and seafoody. (How did I not see that coming?) I was sitting right next to the host when I practically retched. I felt so bad. He was very gracious about it, but man, that's a whole lobster wasted! I don't remember if somebody else took it off my hands, but I sure hope so.

Sometimes I'll notice that my pinky is raised while I slurp my cocoa, but that's about as close as I come to being a swell.

I guess I'm just white trash with money, without the money.