This was the title of a story I read in Jr. High. It was about a hapless youth who first tastes peanut butter secretly in the back room of a store. He's hooked, and soon he upgrades from the kind where you have to stir in the oil to the homogenized, and then he goes completely over the edge with the chunky. It was outlandish and silly and, of course, could never happen to a real person.
Ha ha.
My name is Holly, and I'm a peanut butter addict. In high school, I was obsessed. Maybe it's because I was a vegetarian and my body craved the protein; I don't know. All I know is that I would look forward to getting home from school every day and eating something starchy with the PB. My locker smelled like peanut butter -- and I liked it. (Oh man, that's kind of Mary Katherine Gallagher, isn't it?) My favorite dessert was any solid piece of chocolate (e.g. bunny)dipped in a jar of PB. Even now I get kind of excited about it. I'm no longer dependent on it the way I once was -- I could totally go without if I wanted to... I just don't want to -- but I still mix the PB with desserts. Anything with chocolate, or -- oooo, you should try this -- white chocolate. Or caramel. OK, you can't see it, but I'm drooling a little right now.
Personally, I recommend chunky. The mixture of textures means you can eat more at one time before your mouth starts to revolt. I could (what am I saying, I do) eat it by the spoonful. Breaking it up with bread or crackers is more to appease my conscience than my palette.
I don't partake at work. The locker situation taught me my lesson: peanut butter stinks. Give me some at home, though, and I'm a happy girl. The next time I start whining about how life is hard and I don't understand it, hand me a PB & J and watch me shut right up. [Roommates, if you're reading this, take note. You may wish to try this next time I start crying and you don't feel like listening for an hour.] Peanut butter is happy. Happy happy.
And this post is over. Over over.
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5 comments:
Could you believe we don´t have peanutbutter here in Chile? nor anything that remotely tastes like it either, it´s never existed. So I always have tons of trouble when I´m asked what it tastes like or why people are so crazy about it. The fact is I never really ate much of it, so I only keep a blurry memory in my taste buds. So your post helped me out.
Banana. That's what you mix peanut butter with. You cut it up, then you take a huge wad of PB and nuke it 'til it's soft, pour that over the banana. Top with whatever is in the fridge, freezer or cupboard (black jelly beans, candied ginger, frozen blueberries, chocolate chips, dried apricots,and/or pignoli nuts, you name it!
The gourmet cook thing? That's a facade.
I was beginning to think I was the only one who read the story you mentioned. I read it in a book I inherited called Max Shulman's Guided Tour of Campus Humor. It was published in 1957. I've been searching for another copy, as I had lost mine in a storage auction.
That's exactly where I read it! My parents had a copy. I hope you're able to find another for yourself. There were some real gems in there, as you know.
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