Turkzilla, Frankenlog, and a foretaste of Chrismakkuh

This is a crazy-quilt entry, full of scraps.

We had the biggest turkey ever. 32 1/2 pounds. That would be obscene if it weren't yummy.

The replacement log went over well. Duct tape and pieces of birch bark all over it. Dad laughed harder than I expected, especially considering that he'd figured out earlier that something was up. My prediction that he'd say, "You think you're pretty smart, don't you?" turned out to be wrong; at no point during this series of events did my Dad accuse me of being smart.

For the big holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter), my parents have their neighbors, Dave and Shelley, over. They add a whole new dimension to the entertainment. Shelley usually brings a dessert. Last year, Dad thanked her for the homemade pie, to which she responded, "Who you callin' a ho?"

It's also worth noting that Dave, although ethnically Jewish, is a big fan of both Christmas and ham, so he gets very excited about Christmas dinner. He did, however, return the cultural favor a few years ago when he and Shelley had us over for Christmas Eve and he introduced us to Hanukkah rap, as performed by someone calling himself the Hannukah Homeboy. My two favorite rhymes:

Drinkin' lots of Maneschewicz
...And nothin' rhymes with Maneschewicz
(did I spell that right?)

Light a candle on the menorah
Now everybody bust a hora

The slang is a little dated, but I still think if more people knew about this, it would be right up there with Adam Sandler's The Hanukkah Song.

Hope you guys all had a happy Thanksgiving :-).