The Sound of Silence

Hey Everybody. I'm not dead. I've just been busy or tired every night this week. And I haven't had anything burning to say, or any brilliantly witty thoughts to sprinkle out into the world. I've thought about you guys every day, though. And I've been thinking about stuff. One of the reasons I haven't written is that I haven't been able to arrange my thoughts into anything concise enough to post. I do have a few tiny things left from my college writings that I could put up here.
But I think there may be some more serious stuff coming up instead. I'll be spending Friday night and all day Saturday at church, praying and getting prayed for. That may sound boring to some of you; to me it sounds draining, but it also has huge potential for huge blessing or huge disappointment. It's very hard to place yourself in a setting where you're supposed to meet with God in a powerful way, because if you end up not feeling anything, you end up feeling profoundly shitty. At least I do. And because God is big, and because my life revolves around Him, I have two big fears:
1. God will do something.
2. God won't do something.
As you can see, I have good reason to be afraid.
So I've avoided anticipation and expectation as much as possible. I've prayed about this upcoming weekend a bit, but this week's busyness has probably been God's way of keeping me distracted so I can't work myself up about it. I've also had several years to learn how not to be devastated every time my expectations aren't met.
Anyway, that's what I'll be doing when I'm not blogging tomorrow and Saturday.